Well, I think the last time that I left you... the cat had made it's move and attacked one of mine... so it was mine turn to retaliate.
It was a couple of weeks ago that I came across the orange devil... all mutant looking.... I was actually outside looking for my own cat, when the thought came to mind, "Hey, I wonder if that orange cat is still around..." Just then, I heard a meow from around the corner... So I ran back into the house to grab my crossbow, cock and load... Now, you gotta remember that these arrows are about 6" long and with a steel arrowhead tip. Ok, with that said, I proceded out the door... and slowly crept around the corner... I wasn't sure if it was the orange cat, or a stray cat that I just saw with kittens... anyways, I walked around and BAM there he was... the midget tiger himself! He turned and spotted me, and the darted under the house. I ran to the other side to see him as he jets out from underneath, trying to get away... I quickly aimed and fired... just over his shoulder! I tried to reload, but by then he was too far out of my range... So again, I wait for him to show back up.
So I wait...
And wait...
and then... as I'm playing a little Vice City, I just happen to look back at the monitor, and who do I see moving across the screen... oh yeah... you know who. Well, I run into the room, load the gun, crossbow, blowdart gun, and get my throwing knives ready... Just as I finish, I see him exit the screen, (which mean he is right next to the house)... and I slowly creep out the door... I had the gun over my back, crossbow in hand, blowdart gun on my back also, and knives at my side... I decided to go around the house from the other way to catch him off guard.... I round the corner, and spot him going to the catfood next to my car! So I fire the crossbow as he starts to run as fast as he can into the front yard to get away from me, my shot missed his head by no more than 1/2 inch... dang it! I start chasing him and drop the crossbow gun to reach for the blowdart gun, and quickly fire a dart into his back leg! YEEEAAAAH! He stumbles and rolls into the yard, and I reload another dart, (these are actually called 'steel nails'... they are like a 4" long, razor sharp thumbtacks), I shoot again and hit him in the side! Oh YEAH!!!! He still takes off running across the yard with two of these nails in him... and he's moving fast! So I drop the blowdart gun and reach for the throwing knives and just start launching these at him, and WHAM! I actually pin him right between the shoulder blades as he is running off! He stops still for a moment... I thought it was over, and start to put my next knife into the holster, just then, the bastard still tried to run?! What the HECK!? I throw the other knife and narrowly miss his side! dang it! I grab for the pellet gun, kneel down, and aim for the bastards heart. I slowly pull the trigger just as he gets to the edge of the lawn and WHAMMO! That lead pellet tore through his chest and he comes to a complete stop and hits the pavement. The battle is over. The soldier has fallen. It was a good fight, but only one can be victorious... and my friends, it sure as HELL wasn't going to be him. Don't f*ck with a Hatfield devil cat!
So now, what do I do.... I have the dead body of my enemy, my swollen sense of pride and accomplishment, and a stench that felt like it was burning my nosehair out of my face... The proper thing to do was to bury him.... and that just what I decided would be something a FRIEND would do... this guy took a shot at one of my posse, and now, he had to die. So, he'll..... BURN! I toss his dead carcass into the firepit, throw on some gasoline, and light that mofo up! I've never been so proud as I was that day.
The war has ended, and only 1 remains.
Obviously it's not him, or he'd be writing this.
If you're gonna go, go big, and I'm in it, to win it.
Ok, so maybe it didn't happen exactly like that..... I actually could smell a dead body outside the house somewhere, so I looked underneath and found the flies, and went to look and there he was. The big, dead corpse of the orange devil cat. The story above was how I wanted to kill him, but never got the opportunity. Either way, he's gone and I felt I need to close this case. He's now buried in my back yard... sleeping with the fishes? Heck, I could be on one of those CSI shows or something...? Yeah right.
So, with that all said and done, join us next time.
Go back to part 2
Read how it started
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